Not Without My Daughter - Betty Mahmoody and William Hoffer: A Lesson Learned.

To me for a mother who lives peacefully with my husband, it’s absolutely unimaginable to be trapped in a place, for 2 years forced to live in a country which against my will, being a hostage, suffering domestic abuse, witnessing my own daughter slapped, dragged away from me, and worse, all done by my own husband in a year of 1984, where technology seems nowhere easy to be reached.

Totally, that would be beyond my wildest dream.

But Betty Mahmoody and Mahtob Maryam Mahmoody experienced that, they had to climb the mountain riding horses through Iranian border to Turkey striked by vicious icy snow, assailed by the bitter wind, undergo hideous sleepless night, ripped by the hunger, not able to feel their feet for it was frozen by the snow, and guided by strangers; the smugglers. But If that is what it takes, what’s the price to freedom, what can you say?

In fact to her experience I am very much empathized. I believe there is not a single mother and daughter in this world who wants to experience what Betty and Mahtob had. Although there are some flash-back-present, flash-back - present parts, the book made a smooth transition in between that I did not lose the context amidst reading. It was quite clear and concise.

Aside from the struggle that Betty and Mahtob had experienced, at some angle I thought the book sheds public opinion towards Iranian, culture and Islamic Law in a derogatory and racist way, it’s the book and how the words are written. The sentence such as ‘American House,’ tends to place American more superior than Iranian, or ‘I was so disgusted with Islamic Law’ the book blatantly comments on how unjust Islamic Law is and at first I felt very much offended, but then I realized that this book was written from American point of view, so with that kind of understanding I could finish the book.

There are 2 points that I could highlight from this book. First, it is good to have a stand on something but we shall never forget to look from the other people point of view. I know this of course not applied to Moody act, what he had done to Betty and Mahtob was a curse, Instead this thought popped up from the way the book is written as mentioned above. I understand that if I was in her position I would really hate the Iranian Law, and how they treat women, but we must also take into account that the experience and culture had shaped some women there to become willing to act submissively to the men. The way the book looked to hygiene standards was Betty’s or American hygiene standard; it's obviously different with Iranian or maybe African. Although, in Islam there is a saying “Cleanliness is part of faithfullness,” hygine standard in American and Iranian especially in 1984 is too far to be compared.

Second thing, I would highlight the point when Moody bought an expensive shortwave radio equipped with a headset then he spent most of his time listening to Iranian Revolution news, and the way the book describes it, it can be inferred that he might have begun to suffer what is called “Information Overload.” The term ‘Information Overload’ has risen since 1970, it has captured society's anxiety growth in the production of information which has potentially bad consequences. It was 1980-ish but the effect of information overload to an action is visible in Moody, the next question would be how about now?. 3 decades later, with the internet in our grasp, especially social media, it is impossible to deny the circulation of information around us and or deny the perception created by social media in our brain. American Psychological Association stated that Media Exposure during the 24/7 news cycle can increase perception of threat and activate the “fight or flight” of the brain, it is a condition where our brain reacts to stress it evolves as a survival mechanism, enabling mammals to react quickly to life-threatening situations. This combination of reactions to stress because it evolved as a survival mechanism, enabling people and other mammals to react quickly to life-threatening situations that could lead to subsequent physical and mental health problems. To me especially in this COVID 19 situation it is important to be able to filter information and train how our your think or look at any news.

In short, the fact that this book was filmed on 1991 it, the story hold various lesson to be learnt, from the aforementioned above and another lesson such as people change and we should always prepare for the worst in every situation, because just like what Darwin said, in the end life is all about survival of the fittest.

So, if you just want to know how the big picture of Betty’s struggle you can head up to the movie, yet if you are interested in every detail of the story or how i came up with the thought above, you definitely should grab the book!