What I Have Learned From My Son Hirschsprung Surgery

You thought you would never survive it, you would never make it through, only after you did it, all become your past, then you can take a peep and count your blessings, see the silver lining. In his 3rd month (December 2018), my Son had a Hirschprung Disease Surgery through a method called Endorectal Colon-Pull Through. Just a quick picture, Hirschsprung's Disease makes the patient unable to pass the motion (poop).

For 3 months he could not pass the motion normally, I had to insert a catheter to his anus so his intestines would not get swollen due to the piled-up feces. I had to do it every single day 1-2 times a day, for 3 months. I might say that memory wasn’t the best of all but the feeling of relief every time I saw his feces come out through the catheter, not to mention that sometimes even to my face or shirt, was the greatest relief to me. And after the surgery, I had to insert an iron called ‘Businasi Hegar’ into his anus so the stitch marks would not shrink and lead to constipation I must say that I learned a lot from those six months, I learned the lesson that changed my life, it changed the way I see life.

To come out with these 3 pieces of wisdom wasn’t an easy road, I spent 3 months searching for the right doctor and even tried to seek other solutions besides surgery, and I found it. But maybe the ‘best doctor’ and the ‘other’ method weren’t the best for my child. What he had been through was the best for him.

1. Always look at a problem from other perspectives.

Sometimes having a problem is like shooting an arrow, you aim for that dot to solve it, you will prepare everything to make sure that you hit the dot, but sometimes we get too focused that we forget there’s still life out there. The first time I figured out that there was an abnormality with my Son, I was so depressed, I mean who doesn't?. Only until I look at those moments from the other perspective like

“This is a moment to strengthen the bond between me and my husband”

“I am blessed to have friends, the family who supported me”

“This is God's way to teach me strong”,

then I can enjoy every moment of the struggle. Going back-and-forth to the hospital. Spooling in the middle of the night, cleaning up the puke 3 times a day, or keeping looking for a doctor, hospital, or surgery method comparison, were things that I enjoy.

2. Just like the old proverb says, when it’s meant to be for you, it's yours.

No matter how far you’d run, no matter how hard you try to push it away from you, it will definitely come back to you. It also happens when something is not meant for you, no matter how hard you hold on no matter how bruises you try, it won't be yours, it won't be around. But don’t worry as the universe has its own way to replace it with a better one, only for you.

I learned this when I tried so hard to find the best pediatric surgeon for 3 months, and when I tried so hard to but what gets me? I came back to the very first doctor who was there when no other was available. I met the best doctor but our timeline did not match, I met a senior doctor but the doctor the method that he proposed did not with me and my husband's preference, I met a well-reputed doctor but he’s no longer doing surgery until when I reached to the first doctor and just in a blink of an eye, we agreed with the method, and time. What magic I thought.

Sometimes we are so focused on the `should’, like “my son should be treated with the best doctor: well, dro

p the “should”, learn

that “shoulds” are alive in the minds of others, what is the best for others does not always seem to be the best for you. Just like “comparison”, “should” could be a thief of happiness.

3. Always remember that we are not the ones who are struggling and making adjustments, everyone is.

Constant searches for doctors, doing research by meeting as much as a pediatric surgeon to compare and to gain more knowledge about my son’s condition brought me to meet various patients with various conditions. I always tried to have a conversation with another patient who was waiting beside me. To listen to their stories, to share, and to learn from them (at least, thank God COVID-19 hadn't been around at that time). Once, I found the same baby with Hirschsprung Disease, with a more severe condition than Mas. He has to undergo a colostomy stage and I can feel how his parents were in a very hard struggle but they managed to smile and stay strong, survive. Just when I thought I was the most suffering person in the whole wide world God shows me that my struggle was nothing.

At the very end of the day, we are all fighting our own war as life is a battlefield, it’s either we drown or survive. no matter how hard it is at our hands it’s all about whether we want to learn something from it or not. I believe that we don’t have to experience something bad just to learn something, we can learn it from other people’s experiences too.